By Flavia powell - NLP & Hypnotherapy Coach

Flavia powell – NLP & Hypnotherapy Coach

NLP and Hypnotherapy Coach

NLP coach and hypnotherapy

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BE KIND & NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT OTHERS

Be kind and never make assumptions about others

How can we know what battles other people are fighting? How do we know that behind a sour face there isn’t a vulnerable person or a bruised soul? We assume we know. We judge a grumpy face as unsociable and bitter yet how do we know that this particular person didn’t lose somebody close that day or got diagnosed with a terminal illness?

We make our own minds up as to what might be. We assume we know and yet a heart filled with pain does not translate into a beaming smile. You could be the one who pushes them over the edge or the one who helps make their day a little more bearable. They might have just stubbed their toe. You’d look grumpy too because it hurts. Be kind. Kindness, respect and love are free and we have an abundance of all within us. All we have to do is be willing to open our hearts and take things as they are without judging and making assumptions .

We cannot know what goes on in somebody’s heart but we can ask and listen. We can show respect and offer love. There’s a reason why somebody wears a sad face and furrowed brow.

I did learn my lesson a few years back through being on the other side of the fence and at the receiving end of people’s judgements. The saying ‘never judge a book by its cover’ is not a meaningless saying. I had been sexually abused on and off for six years. I got out but I was not the same person. I was angry, consumed and I hated myself. I struggled to smile and wished I were dead. My face was grumpy, my behaviour aggressive and yet all I wanted was to feel loved, safe and accepted. People used to say horrible things about me and to me. I was disliked and judged as a horrible person and a weirdo. I disliked myself and with each judgement, they were confirming that I was right to hate myself. I was unloveable, dirty and useless. Luckily, my inner strength and stubbornness allowed me to take it all on board and prove to myself that I could do better and live a happy life.

I did it myself too I’m sad to say. It doesn’t take long to make a judgement. Recently, we called a guy in to measure our rooms to replace the carpets. He came in without his tape measure, had a look around and informed us that he’d be back at some point to measure. I wondered why he’d bothered turning up. When I spoke to him, he almost blanked me. He left and I said to my husband, ” I don’t like him. He couldn’t even be bothered to measure the rooms and do his job properly. I don’t want him back.Let’s get somebody else in!”. I judged him as lazy and decided that as it was a Friday afternoon, he couldn’t be bothered. A few days later, during a conversation with the guy who recommended the carpet fitter, we found out that it was in fact his first day back after a long time off, battling a rare form of cancer. He was exhausted but didn’t want to let us down so he came anyway to have a look.

Talk about a loud reminder to never assume anything about anybody and always be kind to others. Show kindness and you will attract the same.

Flavia 🙂

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