Always think of what you want – Flavia Powell
An article by Flavia Powell showing us that what we think about can have drastic effects on what we actually get in life, and we must think positively to get a positive outcome:
Do you find yourself constantly worried and anxious? Do you find yourself constantly fighting and chasing your tail to get away from feeling overwhelmed and hoping that one day you’ll get there? Perhaps you worry about finances. Or maybe you worry about your relationship. It could be that you worry about your job or your children. Maybe you worry about your weight. You could even worry that you are not good enough. Whatever it is, it is constantly occupying your mind and no matter what you do, that anxious feeling is still there.
If this is you, I want you to know that you are not alone. A lot of people out there do the same. Some are only just keeping their heads above the water whilst hoping that one day it will end or even worse, they’ve accepted that it’s life and it will never end. They believe that they’ll never achieve what they want to achieve and end the overwhelm or they are waiting for a miracle to happen and take it all away.
The one common thing with all my clients is this:
“When I achieve that, I’ll be happy” or “When I have that, I’ll feel better”
Don’t wish your life away.
That’s exactly where I was a few years back and I was starting to believe that it was what life was all about. But then I became stubborn. I was tired of constantly worrying, feeling overwhelmed and never good enough.
I started studying and here’s what I found:
Anxiety and overwhelm only happen when we create negative scenarios of what could go wrong.
We think about what we don’t want. We worry about what we don’t want. We don’t want to be in
debt. We don’t want our relationship to break down. We don’t want to be fat and so on.
We build scenarios of “what if” and “should”. “I can do that but what if it goes wrong?”, “I should write a book but what if nobody likes it?”,” I should talk to my partner but what if he won’t listen?”
We think and then we stop ourselves whilst building more negative scenarios in our heads and
The words you say to yourself become the house you live in. If a friend came to ask for your advice would you encourage them, or would you speak to them the way you speak to yourself? Unless you do something that you want to do, the result will always be no and a lack of achievement. It will cause you to stay in the same state of overwhelm. If you do, you might fail, or you might succeed but you have a chance to get a yes or a no.
Start talking kindly and encouragingly to yourself.
Here’s the vital thing:
Anxiety and overwhelm are only caused by thinking of what we don’t want. We become fearful. Our
unconscious does not recognise the word ‘not’ so in fact, when you tell yourself “I don’t want to be in debt”, what you are doing is sending a command to your unconscious saying, “I want to be in debt”. Your unconscious is there to protect you so it will help you achieve just that. When you feel exhausted from fighting to get out of debt, your unconscious will still be working towards your command of “I want to be in debt” so suddenly there’s a conflict between your conscious and your unconscious. Now, you might as well try to search for a needle in a hay stack.
That’s not all. When you think of what you don’t want and you have in fact told your unconscious
that it is exactly what you want, every time you get away from debt, it won’t be long before you’re back in it. The image you have created in your mind is that of you in debt. You get back there to see what it’s like to be able to get away from it. You are going back there subconsciously, for motivation. The only time you run away from it is when the pain is unbearable.
Here’s what you need to do instead. It’s simple but not always easy.
Always think of what you want. Never think of what you don’t want.
The moment you catch yourself thinking of what you don’t want, stop and think of what you want.
You will notice that you will feel much calmer and the image in your mind will be one of calm,
happiness and success. You will feel a natural propel towards achieving exactly what you want and the action you’ll take will be positive and productive. Your unconscious will drive you towards that image.
A book I’d love to recommend is Mel Robbins, The 5 Second Rule. It is a life saver. You catch a
negative thought, you stop, count 54321 and think of what you want. There is a lot of value in the book. I highly recommend it. It will teach you a simple but powerful technique to overcome any challenge.
Do reach out to me if you need support. Life can be hard, but it can also be happy.
Article by Flavia Powell