Interactive Talk – Turn Your Negative Emotions into your Best Allies
Inspired by Tony Robbins
Negative Emotions are not what they seem
Our emotions can be unpredictable, fleeting, energising and energy draining. And so if we want to create an extraordinarily life and grow and expand our businesses, then we must learn how to master our emotions.
Emotions, even the most painful of all, are truly like an internal compass that points us in the direction we need to achieve our goals.
Without knowing how to use your internal compass, you will forever be at the mercy of our ‘negative emotions’, which you will allow to blow you off your golden track.
And so the emotions you think are negative, are in fact why Tony Robbins refers to them as: Action Signals. And so in this article, I will show you how to use your internal compass to learn, be inspired AND take ACTION on our negative emotions. Instead of wallowing, procrastinating, sitting in fear and taking no or little action in your business.
In fact, from now on in this article and beyond (in your life), let’s call our negative emotions Action Signals.
Get excited, because you’re about to learn how to turn your negative emotions from your enemies to your best allies!
How to: 5 Steps to Turn your Negative Emotions into your Best Allies
After reading this article, not only will you turn your negative emotions (Action Signals) into your best allies, but you will become a Master of Your Emotions! Here’s how in 5 powerful steps:
Identify what you are REALLY feeling
Think of a goal you want to achieve but you are facing some negative thoughts & emotions around it. For example, you want to deliver a presentation, but you’re feeling fearful about it and it’s causing you o experience negative thoughts, such as “What if I mess up? The audience will laugh at me….”
Sometimes our imagination runs wild and we exaggerate how we are actually feeling. So step back and take a moment to ask yourself ‘how am I really feeling?’
Example: if you’re feeling scared about delivering a presentation. Ask yourself, ‘am I really feeling scared, or am I anxious?’ You’ll notice that the intensity of the emotion is lighter from that of fear and feeling anxious.
You will notice that you start feel lighter and less overwhelmed by your Action Signal (negative emotion).
Why do this 1st step: Identifying how you really feel enables you to challenge your emotion (which we almost never do), get on top of it and work towards using your internal compass to learn from it and take action faster and more easily (rather than be imprisoned by your negative emotions).
Appreciate your emotions and know that they are there to support you, not harm you
When we feel negative we tend to want to make them wrong. We kick ourselves for feeling them in the first place (triggers negative self-talk: I’m not good enough etc). Stop doing that, because if you continue you will be in an endless cycle of being at war with yourself, while letting the pain of what you’re feeling cloud your true potential and your ability to find solutions.
To break this cycle, appreciate your negative emotions, know that they are there to serve you and help you reach a solution: Action Signal.
WHY? It will get you out of your cloud of pain quicker and into your golden nugget of wisdom faster, so that you can find a solution and take action, thus stopping the war within yourself and instead become allies with your Action Signals.
Remember: whatever we resist persists. And so cultivate the appreciation for all your emotions, and like a child that needs attention, you’ll find your emotions calming down immediately.
Get curious about the message your Action Signal (emotion) is giving you
This is a great pattern interrupt, because instead of fighting and feeling bad over your negative emotions aka Action Signals, you are putting yourself in a state of learning from them. This alone takes their power away. You are now in control and on top of your Action Signals.
So if you’re Action Signal (AC) is feeling anxious about delivering a presentation, get curious and ask yourself these questions (and some of your own if needed):
What is this Action Signal trying to tell me?
What can I learn from it?
What would I have to believe in order to feel the way I am currently feeling?
How do I really want to feel?
What is the best solution to handle this emotion/ Action Signal to start feeling that way right now?
As you get curious about your AC you will learn key distinctions about them for the now and in the future, thus you become more resourceful and you won’t fall into the trap of reliving your negative emotions over and over again.
Get certain that you can handle this Action Signal now and in the future
Do this by remembering how you dealt with it in the past, relive this and then focus on how you can use the same steps to handle it now/in the future.
See, hear and feel yourself handling this situation easily.
Through repetitions of using your certainty to find the solution will create within you a neural pathway in your brain, of which you can easily deal with such challenges naturally.
For example, relive the experience of delivering a presentation before, and see what ou can learn from it so that you no longer feel anxious.
Get excited & take Action
Now that you have
1. Identified how you’re REALLY feeling
2. Allowed yourself to appreciate and own your Action Signal instead of fighting it.
3. Gotten curious about that the Action Signal is trying to tell you
4. You’re feeling certain that you can handle this Action Signal,
5th and final step is to get excited and take action!
Because you have now empowered yourself to take ownership and action on this emotion, you are now in a state of power and resource-fullness. And so you are now ready to work with your Action Signal as your true ally. You’re no longer dwelling on the problem, but focusing attainment of your goals. With these 5 steps you become unstoppable!
Below is a breakdown of the steps so you can implement them easily at any time for any Action Signal (Negative Emotion)
Think of one goal you want to achieve but you are experiencing a negative emotion around it (Action Signal). Write it down.
On your card, now write down your most prominent negative emotion (Action Signal)/or one you are experiencing right now regarding this goal.
Take a minute to appreciate this emotion for what it is, knowing that it’s not there to harm you or stop you from achieving your goals. It’s in fact there to help you get there faster.
Get curious about the message it’s offering you and write this/those messages down – ask yourself ‘what is it trying to tell me?’ ‘How an I REALLY feeling?’ ‘What do I believe in order to feel the way I am currently feeling?’ What do I really want to feel?’ ‘What’s the best solution to start feeling this way?’
Get certain that you can handle this Action Signal by remembering a time where you dealt with something similar/same. What did you do? How did you feel? How can you use that experience to help you now?
Take a moment to compliment yourself for taking action on this emotion instead of allowing it to drain you of energy. Then write down one action you will take to enable you to be a step closer to achieving your goal(s).
Congrats! You now know how to master your emotions!!
By Chrissy Alaby
“I use a specialist key to unlock the unlimited power of an entrepreneur’s mind”.
Leadership Coach for High Achieving Entrepreneurs